Christ-mas card
noun
A small plastic card issued by a bank that allows the holder to purchase gifts that they cannot afford for people who do not need them. Typical short-term symptoms associated with the use of Christmas cards include a sense of power and elation. Long-term symptoms after heavy usage include anxiety and denial.
cere-al kill-er
noun
Any food product that challenges the dominance of breakfast cereal. Examples include eggs, fruit salad and hash browns.
box-tip-ation
noun
A condition in which there is difficulty in clearing the mind due to the excessive consumption of DVD box sets.
au-to-bi-og-ra-phy
noun
An account of a car’s life usually recorded in its service book and authored by one or more mechanics.
gar-beige
noun
A poorly chosen and rather drab colour scheme.
de-ja-you
noun
The uncanny feeling that a long time ago you used to be yourself.
lamb-in-ate
verb
Overlay with a protective layer of lamb’s wool.
There once was a story that lasted but a single sentence.
gut wren-ch
noun
A small tool used for turning and twisting the stomach and other parts of the gastrointestinal system during surgery. Procedures using a gut wrench are renowned for being incredibly painful.
bi-ro-glyph-s
noun
Incomprehensible scrawl popular amongst preschoolers and General Practitioners.
concoctionary 