concoctionary is proud to offer a range of products for the savvy consumer.
Canned Laughter. It can be difficult to produce the right type and amount of laughter on cue, especially when entertaining guests who think they are more humorous than they really are. Fret no more! Take advantage of concoctionary’s wide range of canned laughter. Our professional laughers operate under careful supervision. They giggle, guffaw and gasp directly into high quality aluminium cans which are instantly sealed to ensure nothing but the best. Say goodbye to a sore face and awkward silence by saying yes to concoctionary’s canned laughter!
Reflecticide. Despite our best attempts at filling every spare moment with shopping, social media and sparkly apps, even the most determined citizen sometimes lapses into a state of reflection and original thought. Such moments can lead to all manner of unwanted consequences such as concern for others, guilt about our own behaviour and a niggling sense that there must be more to life than Candy Crush. Don’t put up with these unwanted intrusions anymore. concoctionary reflecticide is a special blend of strawberry-scented chemicals delivered directly to the brain via nasal spray and guaranteed to replace all last vestiges of authenticity with an overwhelming sense of self-satisfaction.
Musical Mower. Lawn mowers are a significant source of noise pollution. Now you can buy a lawn mower that not only trims the grass but emits nothing but music for all to enjoy. From the entry-level Kanye Clipper all the way through to the Beethoven Blades, concoctionary offers a range of models engineered to suit your budget and the socioeconomic profile of your neighbourhood. Prepare yourself for a six-stroke symphony!
Reoderent. Lots of people think small furry animals are cute, so why not smell like one? concoctionary has partnered with a range of famous perfume houses to bring you the best of the rodent world. Our current selection includes cK Chipmunk, Gucci Guinea and Shiseido de’ Squirrel. All our scents use actual rodent perspiration provided with written permission and feature a unique blend of earthy notes.