Ventolette

Vent-o-lette

noun

A thin cylinder of finely cut freeze-dried Ventolin rolled in paper for inhaling. Known colloquially as a ‘viggie’.

SEE ALSO: marshmallowarian, Piethagoras’ theorem

terrorbyte

terr-or-byte

noun

A frighteningly large amount of computer memory

SEE ALSO: duplijoy, technesia

squarecrow

square-crow

noun

A cube, set up in a field of pyramids to scare away predatory spheres

SEE ALSO: mathectomy, tryangle

Hello, Goodbye

Who’s there?

Dyslexic joke

Knock knock

Pretendber

pre-tend-ber

noun

A collection of days that falsely claim to be a month

SEE ALSO: Now Year’s Eve, Dishhog Day

petextrian

pe-text-ri-an

noun

A person who walks whilst using their phone

SEE ALSO: twiddlyfidge, gadgitated

The Moon

The moon is a balloon

That swallowed a candle

Which is turned by a handle

antcestor

ant-ces-tor

noun

An ant, typically one more remote than a grandparent, that lives in the family tree and from whom one is descended.

SEE ALSO: crocroach, cannybull

deathscalator

death-scal-at-or

noun

A moving staircase consisting of an endlessly circulating belt of steps driven by a motor used to convey people to the underworld

SEE ALSO: difficult, horrorscope

acornism

a-corn-is-m

noun

The theory or belief that unicorns do not exist

SEE ALSO: unicornformity